The Picayune Times

America’s Leading News Source for Nearly a Tenth of a Decade!

ALL THE NEWS WE SEE FIT TO INVENT!
mAY, 2 2005

MARTIANS INVADE U.S.!

SHOCKING PHOTOS OF THE HIDEOUS MARTIAN FIENDS

Our intrepid reporters were immediately dispatched to the scene and we have just received these photos of the hideous Martian fiends. Information on these heinous creatures is sketchy.

TG1

This is believed to be one of the Martian leaders. To spare the viewing public of the horror and carnage inflicted by these inhuman fiends, the background has been removed from these photos.

TG3

In a victory for Earth forces, this giant was destroyed by the local constabulary, shortly after this photo was taken.

 

INITIAL LANDING THREATENS MULTINATIONAL GIANT, SCALE CREEP MINIATURES.

CEO MARK “EXTRA CRISPY” SEVERIN UNFAZED.

It has now been confirmed by reliable sources that Imperial Martian forces, have, in fact, landed on Earth. Reports are still sketchy, but we have been able to put together the following. The landings have occurred in an area centered around the headquarters of multi-national juggernaut Scale Creep Miniatures; that the Martians have deployed a fearsome array of Imperial Infantry, octasaur mounted Imperial Cavalry, as well as a variety of Giant Tribal combat units.

Although the UN is till debating the proper international response, our British cousins have already committed properly equipped Expedition Infantry, Lancers, and Artillery. The troops have been mustered, and are boarding the inter-continental balloon transports at this moment.

TG2Further, they have taken this opportunity to unveil their latest super-weapons: steam powered, fully armored “war-chariots.” Plated in steel, and armed with the latest weaponry, these steam-driven vehicles provide a counter force to the Martians’ tripods.

PRESIDENT CALLS FOR NATIONAL RESPONSE,
OFFERS RECRUITMENT BOUNTY

Excuse me, this just in…..in response to the national emergency the President has just announced a recruitment bounty. Any new forces mustered will receive a 10% discount and free freight, if you place a pre-order through newly appointed logistics contractor, Scale Creep Miniatures. The bounty offer ends May 15. Expect your reinforcements to arrive the first week of June.

The British Prime Minister Mike Lewis of the Black Hat Miniatures Party was quoted as saying:

“…we are very pleased to be able to offer assistance to our American cousins and are confident that Scale Creep Miniatures will prove a reliable supplier of all the necessary forces to help combat the Martian menace…

Volunteers are urged to contact Mark Severin at (708) 366-4675 or via electro-magnetic mail at mark@scalecreep.com

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